A New Page from the Book of Pat, verse 12:08:25

I say everything I’ve done, it’s all make believe. Pure work of fiction. Just nonsense I babble on about.
That’s because if I forget to say it ain’t so then some ass will come along and see the reality in what’s what… then I’ll get screwed again. Just like before.

I’ve been here many times. Sat in this very same mildew stained chair. Watched the cobwebs drift down to blow eroticly about with dust bunnies upon the floor. Fixated I am. I get off transfixed at the slow movement of my own decay.
Death doesn’t come easy for the insane.

Today’s extraordinarily special for me. Lucefer and the other angels have come by for a birthday party. Sadly I am the cake.
Long sensuous fingers peel back the flesh from about my eyes. Careful to avoid the layered muscles and most of the nerve clusters. Of course temptation being one of his weaknesses the devil makes sure to pluck a few strings. My mouth quivers in the ecstasy of the moment. Here the party trick of a forced smile isn’t lost upon the revelers. Skin stretches back bringing with it hair. And just like that the wrapping paper is undone.

I don’t scream though. Only the living scream, and everyone knows I have been dead for awhile. I’ve been dead for a very long while.
If it wasn’t for the guilt I believe I’d have quit playing this game of pretend sometime ago.

I ramble… I can’t help it. It came with the dieing. Someday you’ll understand what it’s like when random braincells flash their last gasping breath of memory, and somehow you’re supposed to put shit into some kind of rational order just to be understood. A few expletives would fit here. Feel free to choose your own. I won’t mind. I may learn a new word.

Let’s go back to the party.

Like a birthday cake nimble fingers make quick work of the frosting and beautifully rose shaped flowers. The sweet red cherry jubilee pulses in the open air. Its translucent strawberry gelatin shudders orgasmic from all the festive excitement of the party goers. I take a deep thought and point out to myself that even now at the end I never was much at being the life of the party.

A seething crock pot steams over rattling it’s lid. The noise of the gurgling almost too distracting to think. Pressure builds up from all those lame ass things I should have, could have, but didn’t. No regrets…
A white hot froth simmers up to a boil. Things buried tumble up from beneath. The vapor expelled casts a ghostly shade above it all.

The scene changes. Bloody hands claw out tearing loose the worm eaten cloth about me. A revenant fresh from the rapture, emotions clash with the truth. All will see things at the same instance in time.

I know the purpose of this calling. My seeing and dreaming of things in repetitive fashion. You wouldn’t understand. At least if you’re favored you won’t. So don’t be a nameless Lot’s wife and take an errant look back. What you would see following close behind is a horror that’s been promised since the beginning.

And I know you’re not ready to know what I mean.

Soft Porn and Coffee

A wisp of shadow

Slender curves slips past

Like a small child playing amongst the traffic

She weaves between the burly masses

Square shoulders turn a gaze

The swift bird flits away

Carrying the scented smells of coffee and cinnamon

In her wake behind

The Nightingale Calls

There is a time when the stars all align
Showering the heavens glistening crystal brilliance down

And the blue sky turns to blackened velvet
Sparkling with the light of an infinity of diamonds

Green oceans with frothing white capped waves
Become pacific and restful
Mediterranean mixing with a Persian hue bringing with it a deeper calming blue

The once tempest winds idle into a soft southern breeze
Blowing tropic scented fragrance to allure the mind

And all this beauty is here just for you

A paradise lost to a wanderers sight
Remembered only in silent pools of memory and regret
Not nearly forgotten by his heart
Those binding devotions of words and emotion

This love I still have of you

An empty room

she’s a mystery

secrets veiled in hidden meaning

whispered words

silk smooth

fold the world in around bared flesh

smiles mask true desires

but for the eyes

no haze could dim those radiant lights

only fools know the pleasures such sin delights

passion grows uncontrollably

intentions lost in opium dreams

here the lotus blooms into eternity

sweet scented incense charms away the spirit

rosey pink breasts trace pendulum lines in circular orbits

entangled

limbs search out loves hidden pleasure

each breath a release of resistance from the body and mind

and an addiction of pain comforts

when alone in solitude

only the shadow of her memory remains